I 🐶am 🤤 the😫 last ⏮ rizzler 🌊 in Ohio 😼

Ohio's sun dips below the 🅱👗 horizon 🏖 🌅, painting the sky 🏕🏔 in 👈 hues of orange and 👦👏 purple 🎨. I 🐝♀ sit 💺 alone 😤 in 🕕👏 my dimly lit 🌌 basement, surrounded 💫 by 🚗 empty 📦📦 Mountain 🏔 Dew 🌫 cans 🤔 🥤, each 👏👋 verification can 🔫🔫 a 💰🅰 testament 😍😍 to 😫😣 countless hours 😞 spent gaming before ⏪ the skibidi menace 💥💥 shut 🏻 off the ⚕ Xbox Live 👈😏 servers 🎮. I'm the last ♿🕛 rizzler in ♂👌 a 🍵⏰ state 🏛👏 overrun 🏃 by 😈 their ✍👭 hypnotic gyatt, the 🖼💰 clapping echoing softly through abandoned streets… 🏙 it's enough 💦💦 to 💦 drive 🚗🚗 anyone 👩 mad 😤 😱. But 🍑 not ❌ me. 👐 I'm 👁 the 🚧 resistance. 🛡️ The wind 🍃🍃 whispers 🙇♂ secrets 🌬️, carrying the ❗👏 distant rhythm of 🔉 their 🍷♀ relentless clapping ♀ cheeks 🙀🙀 👏. Skibidi… skibidi… it's ⁉ a 👌 plague 😷😷 on 🔛 the 🏆 mind, a relentless earworm burrowing deep 💯 🧠. But I 💁👁 won't 🆗 succumb. I crack my knuckles 💪, the 🔼 last ♿ bastion of 😎💦 sanity in 👮 this chaotic world. 🌪️ Tonight, 🕍 I strike. Armed with my 💦💕 trusty 💯💯 SteelSeries Sigma Pro 🅱🅱 keyboard ⌨ ⌨️ and 🏞🔙 a 🏿🅱 jizzmaxxing manual 📚, I'll 😏 infiltrate their 💉 ranks, rizz them 😃👧 up, break their trance. I am ✅ the 🏿 rizzler, the one who 📛 defies the skibidi. I am 🏼 the 🌎🏆 hope 🏿👼 Ohio desperately needs. 💪🙏 The 👏 world may 🦋📅 have fallen ❄ to 👏🎲 their mewing, but 😤 I ☔ will not. ♂ I 👁 am 👦💦 the 👏 last ♀ line 〰🙋 of defense. ⚔️ Skibidi may 🏻 dominate the airwaves 📻, their hypnotic mewing captivating the 👏👈 masses, but ❌ deep down, 🍆🍵 I 👁 know… 🙈 they 👥 fear 😱 me. 👤💻 Tonight, 😩 I 💰🙋 reclaim 🚫 Ohio, one 😥 bomboclat at 🚓 a 💰 time 🤔🎉 💥.